We All Have Dreams #2

Dream #2

To be a loving and supportive wife.  Now I know what so many of you are thinking, 18 year old girl dreaming fluffy happy rainbow dreams about marriage and meeting my “soul-mate” and living “happily-ever-after” in a magical land of butterflies and fairy dust. Ha! That is not the case at all, quite the opposite really. I have a very sad and raw view of marriage. Almost every person in my family, extended family included, has been divorced. At least five women in my family have been cheated on by men that had promised to love and cherish them forever and at least two of those women have been abused and at least two  women ended up married to a drug addict. Needless to say, marriage scares me more than anything. The idea of trusting a man with my heart is about the most terrifying concept to me because I have seen what a man can do to a woman’s heart. I have seen the pain and I have seen marriages break under pressure. It is near impossible for me to believe that one man can be content with me for the rest of my life, much less completely in love with me. And it is near impossible for me to trust a man, much less submit to him! I struggle with doubting God’s plan for marriage, yet I see how beautiful it can be. I see the covenant God has made marriage, it is a picture of his love for the church. I so deeply want to see another completely, the ugly and the bad and the annoying, and I want to choose to love him and support him through everything. I want to do this simply because that is what Christ has done for me. I want to cover another’s flaws with love, like Christ has covered mine with love. I want to trust my future husband and submit to him, because I trust God’s work in him. I want to paint a picture of God’s covenant love on this earth with another. I know it will be hard, Im not naive or stupid.  I also know I will have to marry a very patient (christian) man to deal with my cynicism about marriage, but there is something so beautiful in the design God has made. And it is beautiful because Gods love for us is beautiful. I deeply desire to work with another to display that covenant love. I want to display God through my future marriage, that is my dream.

-KC