Growing up, I always considered myself a good girl.
I went to church, followed the rules, and made the right friends. When others made mistakes or choices I didn’t agree with, I would never do that rolled off my condescending tongue so easily you couldn’t not believe me, even if you tried. After all, I even believed myself.
That is, until I did that. And this. And a little more that. And pretty soon, I found myself in a desperate place with a thousand “I’d never do that’s” already done and more guilt in my soul than I ever expected to deal with.
Too many of us live in that good girl trap.
We think what we do is who we are, and as long as we play by the rules and don’t disappoint anyone, we’re okay. But the truth is, none of us are okay, and believing we are is our first mistake.
Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” Matthew 26:35
Like Peter, we believe there are certain mistakes we aren’t capable of making. And like Peter, we’re wrong. The assumption that we are somehow immune to certain temptations is dangerous because it leads us into compromising situations.
For me, it meant going places I didn’t belong, dating people I shouldn’t have dated, and making little choices that led to big, fat mistakes. I thought I could handle them because I was strong enough, smart enough, good enough. It wasn’t until I saw my weakness that I realized true strength is only found in Jesus.
The good news is, we don’t have to stop at realizing how weak we are.
God asks us to give up the good girl game because He wants to lead us to something so much better: our true identities.
Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in his name, He gave them the right to become children of God.” John 1:12
There is a big difference between simply believing in God and living as His child. He doesn’t want us to be good just because we think we should or because other people think we should.
He wants us to live for Him because we are His daughters.
He has great plans for us.
He loves us.
He thinks we are beautiful.
He knows who we were created to be because He designed us, and no matter what we do or don’t do, our identity is in Him and Him alone.
After Peter realized he had done exactly what he told Jesus he would never do, he cried, and not just a few tears. In fact, the Bible says he “went outside and wept bitterly.” I’ve been there, too. I have wept bitterly over things I honestly thought I would never do, and I have experienced shame, regret, and disappointment in such heavy doses my stomach still turns when I think back on it. But I’ve realized now there is no such thing as a good girl. I wasn’t one growing up and I’m not one now.
I am God’s girl. And being His is so much sweeter than just being good.
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Brittany Williamson is a 20something who loves frappuccinos, salty air, and Texas. You can read more about her on www.faithinbetween.com and www.facebook.com/faithinbetween.